Shatterbox/Purpose Project

Last time I wrote I talked about how frusterated I was after watching the movie at our Americorps Meeting and how badly I wished I could be doing something. I want to go out and inspire change or help work to change.

Well today I received a link to a series of very inspiring videos. The web site is called Shatterbox.com and it was started about a year ago by a young woman who wanted to inspire... well people like me to do something they love and get involved. She is fulfilling this mission by asking people to post videos about their experiences working for an organization that they love. and then posting them on the Website. From the empty pages and apologies on some of the other pages its clear that the site as it exists currently is new or under a bit of construction. But it is clear that there are more things coming to shatterbox. There is a blog set up and entire community page filled with people who have posted videos and joined Shatterbox.

One of the people who joined organized something called the Purpose Project. His video describes this idea he had one day to put together the visions that all of the social change leaders had in the previous generations that are now reaching an age of retirement and use their stories to inspire the younger generations.

Its amazing to me how these stories can be so inspiring and motivational and at the same time so frusterating. Its refreshing, especially in light of so many things that I've realized about life and adulthood lately, that there are people out there who still want to inspire change. Not everyone is synical and willing to accept "how things are" or how people are. But how do I become like these people?

I guess this is a question I have been asking myself for a while now and its not a small question, I suppose, either.  Its just something that I want desperately.

Social Change

On Friday at our Americorps meeting we watched the documentary "Crips and Bloods:Made in America."

After spending four years working at the Innocence Institute with a boss that went to Kent State during the shootings, and then spent his post college days reporting on crime and interviewing gang members and mob men before starting the Innocecene Project, I was well aware of the views the people in these communities develop about their survival and possibilites in life. I'd heard it from the innmates I interviewed for cases and from my boss when he told stories about the interivews he'd done.

My work at the Innocence Institute ended almost a year ago and Ive been thinking for a few months now how much I miss doing the kind of work where I really felt like I was inspiring change and part of something that was making a difference in society.

Watching this movie and talking to other Americorps members after it ended really brought all of that out all over again. I want to go to those communities I want to be part of something that is helping these young kids see that there are other things they can do. They don't have to do what they're parents are doing or their neighbors are doing.(That was a comment one of the men in the movie made.) I want to help somehow, but I have no idea how to begin to organize something like that. Or where to go to get involved in helping these low income neighborhoods or families where drugs and guns are sold like ice cream is in my suburban neighborhood in Alexandria.

Now the question is where to begin?

Yesterday I put on my brand new dress and went to work. After work I went to Maggianos in DC to meet with professors from the Journalism departnment at my college and a few students who were visiting DC this weekend.

While I was at work I got compliments throughout the entire day. I know a normal person would have just taken the positive feedback as an ego boost and moved on. I couldn't though I was sure there must be something else going on. So when my boss complimented me I spoke up. I told him I couldn't tell how to take the compliments; that I wasn't sure if they were really that simple or if it was a way of suggesting something about my choice in clothing ( I was worried that my dress may have been viewed as inappropriate).

But after hearing this, my boss only told me that people  will often assume that a person must be going to a job interview if they are dressed up the way I was. At which point he then instructed me to never tell my employers if I was looking for a different job. But then the conversation took a new turn.

We sat down and talked about what I was going to do next. Was I looking for something after Americorps? Had I thought about it?  Of course I have. Not that I have come to any concrete conclusions after weeks-- months actually--of thinking.

Nothing we discussed was anything that I didnt already know was coming. He told me he wanted to put a position back in for a person to do communications. He told me I have been doing really well and he saw a lot of room for growth if I were able to continue on the path I were on...

So even though I have expected this conversation to occur, somehow having it actually happen felt different than I thought it would. I'm not quite sure how though.

When I got to dinner last night and spoke to my professors again and I listened as they talked about all of their lessons and my old classmates complained about how hard the professors were being on them.  Last night it all made sense. My degree from a small college in a small "big city", everything my professors had talked about, my year as an Americorps member...  Things happen for a reason and now I realize how much better off I am and how much experience Ive gained and will gain...

Try new things

One of the things that I've enjoyed the most about this experience is the opportunity Ive had to get involved with the other organizations and projects that people in Project CHANGE do.

Although I dont always like to admit it (and tend to argue with myself about it when asked by other people) I use my position in communications as a way to avoid social contact.  I am a writer. That is what I do and that is what I am good at. If I thought I were a good speaker I would have gone into broadcasting or lobbying. But through Americorps and my Project CHANGE program I have had the opportunity to throw myself into large groups of people that I didnt know and speak loudly and clearly about myself and topics relevant to the conversation. And what I found was that it wasn't that bad.

In Project CHANGE I am constantly surrounded by the opportunity to do different things I don't get to do as a communications associate. But what is really great about this arrangement is that I go and help my fellow Project CHANGE members at night and on the weekends but when Monday comes around I am back to doing what I've spent my whole life planning for. Writing. Its the perfect set up. and now I know that I can do these things. It's not scary. I am now able to do a variety of things and I'm better prepared for jobs... and life in general.

Education award

Last week two girls from an Americorps program in Baltimore came to our Project CHANGE meeting to explain how to use the education award and access the money once it is received.

My award is predestined to pay off my student loans. Granted my student loans are a little higher than the amount of the award but the award will definately be a big help in getting out of debt.  However, as I sat in the classroom listening to the other Americorps members discuss all of the ways they were planning on using their award, I found myself wanting to do more.

I considered doing another year of Americorps. Because, as I mentioned, my award needs to go to my loans.

One of the Americorps members mentioned using the award to enroll in a study abraod program, which I have been interested in doing for a while.  I have also considered going back to school and getting a masters... eventually. Both of which would require a lot of money that I dont see myself having anytime soon.

So although I desperately want to move out of my parents house, start supporting myself and start a more permanent position. Americorps and or another service program seems tempting now.

Long term intern?

I seem to keep hitting a wall. Almost daily I hit this "intern" wall. Even though I was told from the beginning that this position as an Americorps member should be treated like a real job I still seem to hit the wall. There are meetings that I'm not invited to even though it seems to be part of the department and applies to my position seemingly because of my position. When I am introduced I am introduced as one of the interns. My job is temporary, and I seem to be reminded of that a lot.

A few days ago my boss and I had a meeting. We talked about this perception of being only an intern and ways that I could remedy this. "Be proactive" he told me. Which I took to mean take more initiative. Then, he said, people will start to see me as more than just an intern. I will be part of the organization.

But now, almost simultaneously, I seem to be trying to remind myself. I am only an intern. Don't get too comfortable. . . This is only temporary employment.  


In my head there seems to be no way to win. I desperately want to be taken seriously in the organization but I seem to struggle constantly with how comfortable I want to get in the organization. Would it be leading the superiors on if they start to think of me as a long term employee and even consider me for a permanent position and then I turned it down? But what if I don't want to turn it down... I have no idea what I want within this capacity and in the next five months... Maybe I am an intern. 

Americorps vs. Americorps (Maybe bigger is not always better)

I know it has been a long time since I posted anything. But here is something I've been thinking about since I started my journey in Americorps Project CHANGE. Should I have held out for a bigger more recognized Americorps position like VISTA?


A few weeks a go a young woman from the Maryland VISTA program came to our Project CHANGE meeting to compare meetings and to see what our program was like. After talking with her for a short time I got the answer to my question about Americorps programs.

She was in awe of how connected we were and how much support we had for each other.

She told me how hard it was in the VISTA program to really build strong relationships with each other since people were all over the state (and most in Baltimore while she was placed in Montgomery County).

Although I have had these concerns for a few months it was largely brought about by the fact that I reached the half way point in my year of service a few weeks ago. And this of course led to the concern of what to do next and how this year has impacted my larger career goals.

So far, though I think that has been exactly what I needed. Although I can say the interaction with other people in other Americorps programs is not only beneficial but a little therapeutic too.

Team Building

This week Project CHANGE 2010 went to the Smith Center in Rockville to do various team building exercises, which of course were related back to our respective work environments. 

The key element in all of the exercises that we did seemed to be communication. Which is not surprising I guess, given that it is key in any type of relationship with any amount of people, but the most difficult to conquer.

We started out with easy games. We got into a big circle, ( all 29 or 30 of us) held hands and at various points in the circle the Smith Center leader put hoola hoops over two people's hands. She told us, without letting go of our hands (breaking the circuit) to transfer all of the hoola hoops throughout the circle. Each hoola hoop had a different direction that it had to go in though so at various points in the game the hoops had to cross over each other. And that took some communication but we figured it out pretty quickly. 

The games continued throughout the morning each one a little more complicated and requiring a little bit more communication skills and patience with each other.

Our last exercise was on a big wooden board built to tip back and forth like a low see-saw. We were told that we had to all get on the board while constantly keeping it balanced. This was hard. We started out agreeing that we had to keep weight on the ends to get people on at first. But when more and more people got on the board it got harder to communicate and figure out what to do when there weren't enough people to keep weight on the end. 

This was the point where I realized how important clear and detailed communication is. No one could see everyone or hear everything that was going on and we all ended up doing different things or not reacting when we needed to. 

I am probably the only person who really loves learning things in the form of a game. Although I consider myself a people person and I think I work pretty well with other people things like this are always useful as a way to remind yourself exactly how important it is to constantly communicate and how easy it is for confusion and miscommunication to happen. 

Getting To Know You

For the last two weeks Project Change 2010 has been doing Orientation and learning about "How to work in your work environment." ... Basically. Last Monday we met for the first time at Montgomery Community College ( our site for Project CHANGE meetings) and in addition to doing a few ice breaker exercises we learned a simpler version of the various personality categories and were given index cards and a work sheet of characteristics to figure out what category we each fit into.
These categories were by colors.Blue, Green, Gold and Orange.  Blues were the people who feel that the most important thing is for everyone to get along and be happy. Greens are the ones who think and analyze problems and tasks in order to get through them. Golds are concerned with getting things done the way they are supposed to be done and following the rules that were given to them. Oranges not only have to follow the rules but they have to do everything perfectly.
The worksheet had us rank various adjectives based one what described us the best to what described us the least. At the end of it my main personality colors were equally split between Gold and Green.

Then we split off into our respective color groups and discussed how we function in a work environment and what traits in others make it difficult for us. Then we talked about it as a whole Project CHANGE unit.

On Wednesday the personality discussion continued except this time we talked with our respective supervisors( who had also taken done the same worksheet) about our differences and how we could use our personalities to accomplish things at work.

All in all it was interesting. Although, it is hard to not question yourself after so much self analysis....

More to Come!

Project CHANGE Induction

On Friday I was inducted as a Project CHANGE member. Throughout the morning, after several members of the school board and the Montgomery County community congratulated Judy, the Americorps coordinator, and described bits and pieces of how the project started, graduating members went up to the podium and shared their experiences throughout their service.

I thought I would be prepared for what I would hear, I was completely wrong though. members from the different non-profits connected to Project CHANGE went up to the podium one group at a time. Each person had an entirely different experience. There were members that had moved to the country or were looking for ways to learn more about the US and the community. They talked about the people that they met and how they grew by all of the new experiences they had.

I was a little surprised that there weren't more people like me. more regular college kids looking for a start in their career.

My work is disconnected from actually helping the community. Which is how it would be in future jobs too. But everyone else's experiences were of the people that they helped at their sites and how they learned by teaching and coaching others...

What I think I'm going to like the most about this experience is having the opportunity to experience a little bit of what the other sites do too through field trips in addition to gaining the work experience I was looking for.

Transportation

Even though I have a car that I could use to get from my house in Alexandria to work in Rockville, MD ( which is over an hour long commute -- On a good day.) I chose to save gas money, and my car by taking the metro. When I was asked by my future employers and people involved in Americorps, about my method of transportation I got the same response every time. The Metro? But how long will that take?  Each time I responded with the same, "about 2 hours." And each time the only response was a loud gasp.


Here is the resolution I came to about my long commute:
Yes, it is a very long ride. But it is a much calmer ride, on most days, than sitting in Northern Va/ DC/ Southern MD traffic. Taking the metro saves gas money, and the cost of car maintenance.


So I took up reading. Even before I started my Americorps service I was taking the metro into DC every day for an internship. I read more than 6 books over the summer. I also noticed the possibilities of things that can be accomplished while on the metro over driving in a car. I could do things for work on the metro, If I had the capabilities, I could check email and play on the internet. And of course I could also catch up on sleep.


So, in conclusion, whenever possible public transportation is always the way to go.

Week one

I got through my first week at my host site as an Americorps member.


Since this is my first job post college I had no idea going into it what to expect. I went from one person's office to the next with my co-Americorps member and each person explained a different part of the organization to us. It helped that our supervisor had been waiting for us, and as a result putting a lot of work aside for the two of us to start on when we got there.


Personally, I liked that I could dive right into my work and not go through this long "getting-to know-you" period where I would be given assignments that didn't matter but were good introductory jobs.


At the end of my first week, my very first proposal was finished and in the email boxes of my supervisors to be edited. I wrote a quote for a press release about a woman who will be honored at an up-coming event, started a second grant proposal and in-put donations to the organization into our database.


Even though I'm still a little unsure of how my Americorps duties will go, I can tell that this is going to be a very good experience.