Long term intern?

I seem to keep hitting a wall. Almost daily I hit this "intern" wall. Even though I was told from the beginning that this position as an Americorps member should be treated like a real job I still seem to hit the wall. There are meetings that I'm not invited to even though it seems to be part of the department and applies to my position seemingly because of my position. When I am introduced I am introduced as one of the interns. My job is temporary, and I seem to be reminded of that a lot.

A few days ago my boss and I had a meeting. We talked about this perception of being only an intern and ways that I could remedy this. "Be proactive" he told me. Which I took to mean take more initiative. Then, he said, people will start to see me as more than just an intern. I will be part of the organization.

But now, almost simultaneously, I seem to be trying to remind myself. I am only an intern. Don't get too comfortable. . . This is only temporary employment.  


In my head there seems to be no way to win. I desperately want to be taken seriously in the organization but I seem to struggle constantly with how comfortable I want to get in the organization. Would it be leading the superiors on if they start to think of me as a long term employee and even consider me for a permanent position and then I turned it down? But what if I don't want to turn it down... I have no idea what I want within this capacity and in the next five months... Maybe I am an intern.